Sexual assault by someone you know

Sexual assault often occurs between people who know each other. The perpetrator may be a:

•	a friend
•	an acquaintance (someone you know but not well) 
•	a co-worker, supervisor, boss 
•	a schoolmate, teacher, student
•	a relative
•	a boyfriend or date

Assaults can occur:

•	in your home 
•	in a friend’s home
•	in cars 
•	on dates
•	at parties
•	at school or work

Victims can be all ages – children, teens and adults. They can be male or female, single or married. The common element shared by all is that the assaults are committed by someone known and often trusted. 

A woman who gets raped usually deserves it, especially if she has agreed to go to a man’s house or car with him.

No one deserves to be raped. Being in a man’s house or car does not mean that a woman has agreed to have sex with him. 

Once a man reach a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can’t help forcing themselves upon a woman.

Men are Capable of exercising restraint. A man who cares about you will not expect you to do anything that you are not comfortable with.

About sexual assault

If a woman wears revealing clothing, she is asking to be raped.

Women do not deserve to be raped, regardless of what they decide to wear or where they decide to go.

Most women lie about rape because they regret having sex.

Most women do not lie about rape. If a woman says she has been raped believe her. She needs all the support she can get.
Helping a Friend:

•	Make sure that your friend is safe, that nobody has followed her home
•	If your friend needs medical help, take her to the hospital
•	Believe your friend – believing in her will help her through the    healing process
•	Listen to your friend – what you say is not as important as your willingness to listen
•	Be sure that your friend does not blame herself
•	Support your friend and the decisions she makes. 
•	Be available when she needs you

How to protect yourself

There is no perfect way to protect yourself against assault (including rape), but the following have worked for many people:

•	Set sexual limits. You may have different limits with different people, your limits may change. This is your right.
•	Communicate those limits. Tell the person you are with what you expect and what you don’t expect. 
•	Trust your feelings. If you feel that you are being pressured into unwanted sex, you’re right.  
•	Make sure your friends or family know where you are going and who you are going with.
•	Say “NO” as clearly and loudly as possible, even if it means being rude.

Myths & Facts about sexual assault

Myth

A woman who gets raped usually deserves it, especially if she has agreed to go to a man’s house or car with him

Fact

No one deserves to be raped. Being in a man’s house or car does not mean that a woman has agreed to have sex with him.

Myth

Once a man reach a certain point of arousal, sex is inevitable and they can’t help forcing themselves upon a woman.

Fact

Men are Capable of exercising restraint. A man who cares about you will not expect you to do anything that you are not comfortable with.

Myth

If a woman wears revealing clothing, she is asking to be raped.

Fact

Women do not deserve to be raped, regardless of what they decide to wear or where they decide to go.

Myth

Most women lie about rape because they regret having sex.

Fact

Most women do not lie about rape. If a woman says she has been raped believe her. She needs all the support she can get.

Sexual Assault by Someone you Know

NO

What part of this word don’t you understand?

Services Offered by Help and Shelter

If you want more specific information about assault by someone you know, contact Help & Shelter. 

Our Phone number: 02-73454
When you can call: 24 hours/day, 7 days/week
Who will talk with you: A trained counselor

All information is confidential

•	Counselling for all forms of abuse
•	Support through the court experience for victims of rape and child sexual abuse
•	Consciousness raising for the community
•	Training of new volunteers
•	School talks to educate young people about violence

Help & Shelter

c/o Ministry of Housing Annexe
Bottom Flat
Homestretch Avenue
Durban Park
Georgetown

Phone: 02-73454, 02-54731, 02-78353
Email: hands@sdnp.org.gy
Website: http://www.sdnp.org.gy/hands

Acknowledgements:
The Crisis Centre
Knowles House 
Princess Margaret Hospital
Bahamas

Help & Shelter
02-73454